MEMO FROM NEW YORK

Dear Diary:

I recently went to an A.T.M. to deposit a personal check from my friend Marci. The $55 check was reimbursement for theater tickets that I had picked up for us. As I unfolded the check from my wallet, I was horrified to see that she had neatly written the name of the play on the check’s Memo line.

Oh no! I thought. Could I be arrested? Would the bank teller think I was the world’s cheapest assassin for hire, or merely a thrifty theater buff? I guess I’ll just wait until the check clears.

The show we saw was “Is He Dead?”

Deborah Carr

FULL STORY

Dear Diary:

This happened a few years ago.

We were driving with our two New York City-born and bred children through Pennsylvania Dutch country. As we passed a barn, we pointed out the hex sign to our children, explaining that the purpose of the sign was to protect the occupants and ward off evil.

After considering this for a moment, our 3-year-old son asked if we, too, had a hex sign on our apartment building.

“No,” my 6-year-old responded. “We have a doorman.”

Naomi Weinstein

FULL STORY

Dear Diary:

We had just taken our seats in an Off Broadway theater when my girlfriend’s cellphone rang. It was the cabdriver who had dropped us off a few minutes before, calling to say he had found my cellphone in his cab...

We arranged to meet after the show to repatriate the phone...the cabby pulled up at the curb. I reached in the window, handed him a $20 bill and thanked him for going out of his way to return my phone. He seemed momentarily confused and handed me his cellphone.

Suddenly, it dawned on me: I had hailed the wrong cab.

With a reflex that belied my 70 years, I reached into the cab and plucked my $20 bill out of his hand.

Two minutes later, the “right” cab arrived, and I got my phone back.

Martin Spar

FULL STORY